Satire: Manny goes to Iraq
Posted on July 30, 2008
Filed Under Baseball Miscellaneous | Leave a Comment
During the Manny Ramirez saga the other day, Manny said, “I can even play in Iraq if need be.” His point was that he just wants to play baseball and doesn’t care where he does it (which isn’t true) but the media kind of ran with his quote. Most outlets were outraged he would mention the country Iraq (absurd) but ESPN Page 2 posted a pretty funny satire about it (link). Here are some highlights:
U.S. Army officials expressed disgust Monday when told Pfc. Manny Ramirez, a recent recruit from Massachusetts, refused to participate in a late-afternoon patrol with the rest of his platoon Sunday night.
[..]
Tests on Ramirez’s leg, consisting of a medic’s shrugging his shoulders and saying, “Dude, suck it up,” revealed no injury. Ramirez reportedly asked to be taken to the training room for a pre-patrol deep-tissue massage, a request that quickly made Ramirez the laughingstock of the entire division.Ramirez’s availability for Tuesday night’s scheduled raid on an al Qaeda stronghold outside Basra will be determined later in the day, according to Army officials. Weather continues to be a factor. It was 113 degrees in Baghdad on Monday, with a low of 87. More of the same was forecast for the next two to three months.
[..]
On his first day in Iraq, Ramirez had a physical confrontation with his sergeant major when he discovered he would be bunking with 31 other men. After he was refused his request for a single room, preferably a suite, Ramirez yelled, “Just do your job!”
Touche ESPN.
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