The Lowell Spinners go PC and Non-PC
Posted on July 23, 2008
Filed Under 2008 Season, Baseball Miscellaneous | Leave a Comment
For the second year in a row, the Single-A Lowell Spinners have brought back their politically correct and politically incorrect promotions. In my opinion, minor league teams have the most creative promos out of anybody in the sports world and this one is no different.
Wed, July 23rd @ LeLacheur Park – Politically Correct Night
- Gender neutral terms will be used, ie: ‘first baseperson’ instead of ‘first baseman’, ‘batperson’ instead of ‘batboy’
- Non-demeaning terms will be used as well, ie: ‘vertically-challenged stop’ instead of ’shortstop’
- Players that commit an error will not be named in an effort to make sure their feelings don’t get hurt (This one would help Lugo out!)
- There will be no specific ‘Fan Of The Game.’ Everyone that attends will be recognized as a ‘fan of the game’
- Fans will be encouraged to ‘Go Green’ by recycling while at the park, and carpooling or using public transportation to get to the game
Thur, July 24th @ LeLacheur Park – Politically Incorrect Night
- The stadium will have ‘men only’ entrances to the game because men are obviously the superior creatures
- The first 250 women to attend the game will be given Lowell Spinners potholders so that they can properly cook dinner for their husbands
- There will be designated napping areas around the park available for all senior citizens to ‘rest their eyes’ because old people get tired quickly
- Fans are encouraged to drive to the game separately and will be given complimentary gas cards in an effort to use up as much gas as possible
- Cars will be needlessly driven between innings as a tribute to gas guzzlers
Honestly, it can’t get more awesome than this, right? Wait, it can. The team will also be giving out Red Sox World Series lapel pins on the 23rd (tonight) and Clay Buchholz “No-Hitter” bobbleheads on the 24th. Pure awesomeness.
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